always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.
“a message from women:
do you know what it’s like to be left alone in love?
do you know what it’s like to feel stuck in love?
do you know what it’s like to be too depressed?
do you know what it’s like to have to beg for
forever from a person who neglects your history?
do you what it’s like to lose everything?
do you know what it’s like to feel abandoned?
do you know what it’s like to wait?
do you know that i will never be too near or too far away?
honestly, i’m still waiting for closure.
i still question what this is— or what this was?
because i can’t help but hope our feelings were mutual.
do you know how it feels to constantly chase a feeling you’re addicted to?
do you know i’ve got the jones for you.
and an appetite. and a sweet tooth.
do you know i prayed for you?
from night ’til day.
regardless of my better judgement or dismay
time after time after promises that never seemed impossible or too good to be TRUE.
do you know what it’s like to try convincing yourself that— this was the truth.
like i was the woman created for you.
do you know how much i’ve craved you?
i’ve searched for you everywhere
in people, in prayer, in psalm.
in different lovers, in god.
and god— i, wish you really knew.
that i’d love you till death,
or that i’d kill for you.
or that i feel you, like soul deep, like
deeper than anyone ever will.
do you know what it’s like to feel dead inside and see you so alive, still? but these days i feel alive.
i’ve been able to realize you just weren’t meant for me.
these days i don’t cry over
spilled milk.
or lost love
or things i have no control of.
these days i just love myself more.
i just know there’s a happily ever after.
these days i just — don’t see it with you.
nothing personal i think i just fell too quick for your potential.
i just wanted you to be the one.
i just thought we made sense
but now i love myself enough to know better..”
ppl who think that saying “I love you” to someone a lot makes it lose it’s meaning are so boring literally what could make you think that? if someone tells you they love you like 3 times in an hour it means that 3 separate times they were sitting there and thinking about you and how wonderful you are like. smh. say I love you to everyone that you love as often as possible bc sometimes it’s easy to forget that there are people who love you
“When God Created Mothers” When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.” The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.” It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.” That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded. One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.” God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….” I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.” The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed. But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.” Can it think?” Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator. Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.” It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.” What’s it for?” It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.” You are a genius, ” said the angel. Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”
— Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers (via coral)
I’d rather you break my heart into a million pieces than let me believe over and over that there is something left between us. You told me you didn’t know what you wanted, what role you needed me to play. I think at that point it was pretty clear; whatever you want, it’s not with me.
I won’t be here forever. Seven years from now, every cell in my body will be replaced from this moment. Seven years from now every fiber of my being will be pure from your touch and your words. Nothing will remain when we sever our ties, and I have made peace long ago that I will never be able to fix you, change you, or love you. You’ve made it impossible for me to do so. I’m sorry if you wanted to hold on just a little bit longer to the little space in limbo we carved for ourselves, safe from prying eyes and judgmental stares, but I’m sick of settling for just good enough. Someday I’m going to find someone who will promise me all the things you did, but they will deliver. Someday I’m going to have someone who makes me a priority. Someday I’m going be with someone who looks at me like I was made to live among the stars. I deserve nothing less than that, and hope that someday you can find a person like that too.
โ It was a toxic suffocation from the beginning. But I chose to ignore it. The warning signs were there, blaring words telling me to get out and protect myself before anything happened. But you calmed me. You spoke to the demons that haunted me and chased away the anxiety that plagued my body. You made me so certain that, this undefined relationship we shared was something that had long breached friendship and was simply clambering around for more. Our hugs would soothe me even after the most tumultuous day and you would whisper how nice it felt to be wrapped in familiar arms that felt like home. That statement boggled my mind and made me understand why everything with you was alright. Everything was calm, nothing hurt and I felt like I could take on the world. Except you didn’t feel like home - you were home.
Home without a warning home packed up and left. Moved to the other side of the country and left me to fend for myself, if that was possible. Home took my strength as it found another occupant who publicised their new residence as I watched home from a distance finally feeling like what I’d become. I was homeless but my home was still there but caring for someone else. That when the demons returned. Except these were new and constantly reminded me of the home I had lost. Reminded me of exactly what the perfect tenant should have been like. It was my fault that I no longer had a home and even now the pain still eats away at me as I close my eyes and try to forget the comfort and safety I was provided before I let it slip through my fingers. If I had noticed what was happening I would have help on harder, fought harder to keep that sense of belonging with me. โ
โ It was a toxic suffocation from the beginning. But I chose to ignore it. The warning signs were there, blaring words telling me to get out and protect myself before anything happened. But you calmed me. You spoke to the demons that haunted me and chased away the anxiety that plagued my body. You made me so certain that, this undefined relationship we shared was something that had long breached friendship and was simply clambering around for more. Our hugs would soothe me even after the most tumultuous day and you would whisper how nice it felt to be wrapped in familiar arms that felt like home. That statement boggled my mind and made me understand why everything with you was alright. Everything was calm, nothing hurt and I felt like I could take on the world. Except you didn’t feel like home - you were home.
Home without a warning home packed up and left. Moved to the other side of the country and left me to fend for myself, if that was possible. Home took my strength as it found another occupant who publicised their new residence as I watched home from a distance finally feeling like what I’d become. I was homeless but my home was still there but caring for someone else. That when the demons returned. Except these were new and constantly reminded me of the home I had lost. Reminded me of exactly what the perfect tenant should have been like. It was my fault that I no longer had a home and even now the pain still eats away at me as I close my eyes and try to forget the comfort and safety I was provided before I let it slip through my fingers. If I had noticed what was happening I would have help on harder, fought harder to keep that sense of belonging with me. โ
